It always started the same.
She would be lying on the dirt in the Satellite Sector, only vaguely aware of where she was and what was happening. She'd been looking for Jack, that much she was sure of though she didn't know why. And then, her arm would glow purple, and the hummingbird would arrive.
It was black and orange, and always seemed to be calling to her, beckoning for her to follow. And whether she wanted to or not in the dream, she found herself taking one step in front of the other, following the hummingbird through the decrepit old buildings until she came across a cliff's edge underneath the control towers.
She would look over the cliff wanting to see what the hummingbird was so proud of, only to find the entirety of the Satellite and Neo Domino City covered in bright purple flames. Flames that she got the feeling were spread out across the world if she bothered to follow. Flames that were destroying everything in their path, and causing nothing but hurt and death.
The terrifying part was never the flames. Their destructive wake was never something she wanted to see, but she knew the flames wouldn't hurt her. She was theirs, just as they were of her. The terrifying part was that as the flames spread, she could feel nothing but a feeling of joy as she realized her plan had come to fruition, and they (whoever they were) had won.
Carly nearly lept out of bed at the nightmare that had once again come to her. She had tried to dismiss it at first, foolish dreams and nothing more than a fear built on some silly legend she'd come across while trying to research the mark that was on Jack's arm, but as her dreams of the strange humming bird god continued, she became less and less sure that's all they were.
It was a disturbing feeling, one that was difficult to justify or explain. The knowledge that she would take joy in the death of everyone around her, in destruction, went against everything she was as a person. She wanted to help make others happy, and to share the joy in the world she saw around her, not drown it in a cold (hot? She wasn't sure, she never touched the flames) darkness.
She tried to calm her heart, still beating rapidly in her chest, and grabbed her phone. Technically she was sure that calling Jack in the middle of the night for something like a nightmare was a little ridiculous, but given the subject and the fact that it just wouldn't go away, she was certain that he wouldn't mind the intrusion.
The phone rang twice before Jack finally picked it up. "Hello? Who is this?"
She'd expected him to be asleep, but Jack seemed at least alert. "Jack?"
"Carly, is that you?" Jack didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "Did something happen? Do you need me to come over?"
"It's nothing, really." No, saying that was a lie and she knew it. "Well, okay, It may be something small, but nothing too bad. There's no reason to drop everything just to check on me. It was just a nightmare, that's all." As she said it, she felt almost foolish. Jack had to start preparing for the World Riding Grand Prix, he didn't need to sit with her and calm her down from a nightmare so she could sleep. She felt bad, interrupting him like that.
The other end stayed quiet, and just as she was about to apologize for disturbing him, Jack asked, "A nightmare?"
"Yeah, a really, really weird one. You see, I was following this humming bird and-"
"A hummingbird!?" The alarm in Jack's voice made Carly feel better about reaching out to him, though she didn't understand why he would be so worried. "Are you sure?"
"Well, it was small, and had the super long beak that they like to stick into flowers, so I'd assume so." When Jack didn't respond, she tried asking for more information. "Is that bad?"
She heard him mutter something on the other end of the line, but she couldn't make it out. "Do you mind if I come over, before you tell me more? I want to double check something," he said, now loud enough for her to hear.
"Okay?" Though he wouldn't be able to see her, Carly nodded to herself, feeling less reassured than before, but more certain of her decision. She knew Jack would be able to help her, but if he felt he needed to drop whatever he'd been in the middle of to come, then it had to be worse than she'd thought. "Jack, should I-"
"Things will be okay, I promise. Just let me come over first." Carly was about to hang up, but Jack wasn't finished, continuing his thoughts. "Just...if..." He sighed, frustrated. "I'll be there soon. If you remember anything, let me know."
"Remember?" Carly asked, but too late. Jack had already hung up, leaving her alone to her thoughts. Concerned for her own sanity but with nothing she could do further until he arrived, Carly began making coffee, hoping to keep herself awake as she tried to reflect on it more.
She tried to piece together what she could. The hummingbird was one of the Nazca Lines, which supposedly had ties to the Crimson Dragon, whose mark Jack wore, except she didn't understand their connection. The only thing she could think of was she was going to be a Signer too? Was the dark fire a warning? But then why did it bring her so much joy if it was destroying the world. It still didn't make any sense the more she questioned it.
Thankfully, not long after she'd finished making the cup, she heard the sound of Jack's D-Wheel pulling up outside. The engine quieted as Jack dismounted, and he knocked on the door. She opened it, not asking anything more. Jack looked almost as distressed as she felt, his hair windblown from the ride and a frown on his face, one that changed to a small smile when he saw her. "Carly, you're alright."
There was a hint of relief in his voice, confusing Carly more. She wasn't in danger, was she? "Why wouldn't I be? I know it's a weird nightmare, but that's still all it was."
Jack didn't respond, which only made her more worried. She prompted him again. "It was just a nightmare, right?"
"I'm hoping that's all it is." He grabbed the mug of coffee that Carly had finished making and took a sip for himself before sitting down at her kitchen table. If he hadn't come out to check on her, she might've been more annoyed, but as it stood, she couldn't be too upset. She had pulled him to her house at who knew how late at night. "Can you tell me about the dream?"
Carly nodded and sat down across from him. "Well, I see this...hummingbird, and it leads me through the Satellite to a tower even though I'm looking for you, and then when I look down, the world is destroyed and I..."
"And you like it." Jack finished her statement for her, and all Carly could do was nod in response. He knew what she had been about to say, and she didn't like it. "Carly..."
"That's not me Jack, you know that." Without meaning to get so impassioned, Carly slammed her hand on the table, startling both Jack and herself, though she wasn't sure who she was convincing more, herself or him.
"I know." Jack placed a hand on hers, rubbing it with his thumb gently. "I know you Carly, you're kind and loving, more than anybody else I know. That wasn't you."
"So then why did I take joy in seeing the world burn like that? Why did I..." Her voice trailed off. Jack had switched tenses. He wasn't talking about this like it was some hypothetical nightmare that she'd had. He was talking about it as though she actually had taken joy in destruction like in her dream.
She knew she had a gap in her memory between visiting the Arcadia Movement to investigate Aki and waking up in a hospital room with Jack at her side. She'd assumed something had happened during her duel with Divine, something bad, but aside from Jack telling her that she'd been hurt there wasn't anything that she could get from him or the other Signers about what had happened. Even Misty, the only other person who might've been able to tell her otherwise, had simply brushed her off by telling her she was better off not knowing.
"Jack, what happened to me?" Carly asked, her voice scarcely more than a whisper. When he didn't answer, she knew she'd gotten it right. These dreams, Jack's actions, were connected to that missing time. "You have to know-"
"I'd hoped when you had no memories of that time, it'd stay that way," Jack cut her off, and Carly froze. "I should've known that would be too good to be true."
"Jack...?"
"You'd died Carly, I'd thought I..." Jack shook his head. "You were a Dark Signer."
That...that can't be right... Carly opened her mouth wordlessly before immediately shutting it. What could she say to that? She couldn't have died and become a Dark Signer because she was here right now, talking to him.
"We'd dueled, until you got controlled by your Earthbound God. You had become a Dark Signer to bring me down with you, so we could rule the destroyed world together." Jack looked away.
She wanted him to say just kidding, but she knew. This wasn't the kind of thing Jack would joke about, and it made too much sense with her dreams for it to be anything else.
She curled in on herself immediately, pushing away from the table so she could put as much distance between herself and Jack as she pulled her legs up beneath her. "I...became a Dark Signer?"
She couldn't remember, but she'd done that. How badly had she hurt other people? How many people had she killed? How much had she hurt Jack in her attempts to make him a soulless creature like her? What had she done that she couldn't remember. Carly buried her head in her hands, starting to sob as guilt overcame her. She heard Jack call her name, and felt his arms around her moments later. She wanted to pull away. She didn't deserve his comfort, but couldn't bring herself to move.
"That wasn't you Carly. You fought against the darkness and won. You have to remember that."
"But all those people-"
"They're fine now." Jack's voice was uncharacteristically gentle for once, as though he was afraid of how she'd react if he pushed. "Everybody who was sacrificed was returned. Nobody stayed hurt, not even me."
Carly finally looked up at Jack, her eyes still filled with tears. "But I wanted to..."
"You and I both know that isn't true." She didn't reply, so Jack continued. "You were possessed, and as it is the only reason I won the duel..." He sighed, unwilling to face what he had to say. "Well, let's just say the only reason I'm still standing here is because of an action you decided that I deserved a chance to live."
Carly remained silent, though her sobs finally began to subside. She removed her glasses, drying off the tears so she could once more see. "Jack...why...?"
"Why didn't I tell you?" he asked. Carly nodded, and he looked away. "You were happy. I couldn't handle seeing you blame yourself for things that weren't your fault all because of some memories of a time that even I'd rather forget most of."
"I only did that...because it made me happy. That's why I was punished for my sins..."
The words echoed in her head, a memory that she couldn't quite reach. Yet she had a feeling that they were at least a part of why Jack was so sure she wouldn't take the knowledge of everything she'd done so well.
She was pretty sure they were exactly why Jack was so sure she wouldn't take the knowledge very well.
"Sometimes it was hard, of course I wanted to talk to you about what happened, what you'd said." She was surprised to hear Jack still talking, she'd gotten so wrapped up in her thoughts. "But every time I'd be reminded of everything I had to lose. This seemed safer, easier."
"Why, what did you have to lose?" Her voice remained quiet, and she looked back down. "It's not like you were the one missing memories or anything."
"Isn't it obvious?" Jack asked, she could hear the smug disdain (or was it surprise?) coloring his voice at her inability to figure it out. "I would've lost you. Your smile, the way you always try to cheer people on, they'd both be gone. I don't want to see you cry, Carly."
Rather than let herself hope for what that could mean, Carly simply decided to give Jack a small smile. "We both know losing me isn't that big a deal. I'm just the paparazzi you can't manage to shake. I..."
"You mean more to me than just that, Carly. You picked me back up when I was down. You helped me reach heights I never would've achieved otherwise."
"But...then why have you been avoiding me?" Carly tried to wrap her head around what Jack was saying with his actions since she'd woken up. He'd been there that first day, but after that he'd taken to dodging her every move. Had she not called him herself tonight, she was sure that he still would've been avoiding her every move.
"You told me you loved me, and then didn't remember any of it." Carly bit back her urge to ask if she'd actually done something like that, and instead let Jack continue. "If the girl you loved confessed to you, only to forget everything about that time that would just cause her more pain, wouldn't you want to avoid her too, either in case of the reminder or in case she'd get more hurt?" Jack let go of her, moving back to the seat he'd initially taken while he let her process.
"Well I guess..." Carly frowned, putting her finger to her chin in thought before immediately looking directly at Jack in shock. "Wait, what?"
She wasn't sure which she found harder to believe, the fact that she'd confessed to Jack as a Dark Signer, the fact that he returned her feelings, or the fact that she couldn't remember it even happening in the first place. "This isn't fair, why can't I remember any of this."
"Regardless of whether you remember it or not, it did happen." Jack looked straight at her, choosing his next words carefully. "Which now that I have no reason to hide it, I suppose begs the question of whether or not you still care for me, or if you'd rather I just forget the whole thing ever happened as well."
Carly shook her head, still trying to process all of this. The Jack Atlas had feelings for her. Even after she'd forgotten she confessed to him he was still in love with her enough to be patient on whether she'd remember, and evidently had decided that if she didn't remember he loved her enough to not try to push her into it or get her to remember something that belonged in her worst nightmares.
With all that into account, and her own feelings in mind, there was really only one answer she could say.